This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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