If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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