Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
