How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
