I'm lost and stupid without you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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