I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
