Kiss
Puke
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
