2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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