Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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