OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
