I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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