That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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