even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
this hospital has no fireball
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
