What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
