she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
