Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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