Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.

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(214): View more from Texas

he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'

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(631): View more from New York

Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.

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(513): View more from Ohio

This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things

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(716): View more from New York

Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum

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(614): View more from Ohio

How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?

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