i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
