Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
