exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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