Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
