Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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