the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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