i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
