carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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