I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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