all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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