You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Boobs speak an international language.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
