Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
