Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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