You made me cry and you don't even care
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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