in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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