I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
