Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
