There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
