Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
