you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
