Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
