She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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