Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
