I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
