Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
