Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
