The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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