You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
