Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
