Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What drink are we having for lunch?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
