worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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