i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
