i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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