New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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